I'm a dog with many different ideas and views about different things, so I thought I'd share some with you. I might not tell you everything I know that can be of use, because some things you'll have to figure out on your own. Maybe you'll find some answers to problems you have here, or maybe you can develop your own ways from my findings.

Lifting your leg

This is mostly a guy thing, and all of us develop a style of our own. After a while you do get a hang of it, so this is probably just for younger pups!

As you might have noticed, us older dogs lift our hind leg when we pee. It's very important to pee in different spots on your walks to mark your territory, and tell other dogs that they're in your neighbourhood, or are sniffing spots that belongs to you. (It's not good marking your territory indoors, because that usually makes your humans annoyed.)

Sometimes when you're out for walks you just go around and lift your hind legs in different directions, not at the same time of course, because standing on your front legs can be very hard. But the thing is that it's very good to be able to lift both your hind legs, one at a time, because then it doesn't matter on which side of the street you're walking on. I guess you can look upon it as kind of stretching, it's very important to get your leg up as high as possible against whatever you decided to pee on. If you're walking along a building and decide to pee on it, make sure that you lift whichever leg is suitable straight up against the wall, and keep the other leg steadily on the ground. It should look as if you are glued to the wall, that's the best way of doing it.

It takes a while to practice, and very soon you learn how to hold your balance. But it really important to practice to be able to stand steady on three legs, because otherwise your mum or someone passing might start to laugh at you. I started to practice when I was 5-6 months old, and I have to admit that it wasn't easy. Before that, I used to sit the way my sisters and my birth mum did it, and then I only peed about twice every walk. Then I noticed on walks with mum that the older guys seemed to be standing up, so I figured that was the way to do it. A little bit here, and a little bit there whenever you feel like it, to tell everybody else that they might run in to you in those places. It takes a while to learn how to just get a few drops out in each place, but eventually you get the hang of it. Sometimes I lift my leg just for fun, and also it gives mum something to wonder about.

To tell you the truth, it was very hard to learn this standing on three legs with one in the air. If you're not in full balance, it can end in a bad way. Believe me, I know for a fact that it's very hard, so read this very carefully: Do not, I repeat; do not start looking after empty plastic bags or birds flying by when you're standing there with one leg up! I might as well tell you what happens: You loose your balance and fall over, and then you are lying there on the ground all four paws in the air, wondering what went wrong. I usually gave mum accusing looks as if trying to tell her it was her fault I had fallen, but she said it wasn't her fault, she had nothing to do with it, and all I needed was more practice. So, I kept on practising, and eventually I got the balance right, and it's not until you have that balance you can start looking at the surroundings when standing on three legs.

Once you have the balance, there is only one thing to keep in mind: Do not pee on everything you see, because some items you're not allowed to - or at least shouldn't - pee on. If you are outside a place where they sell newspapers, and they have a newspaper stand with newspapers all the way down, do not pee on the newspapers! Also, if you pass a shop where they sell flowers, and there are flowers and plants on the ground outside the shop, it's not very popular if you pee on those. I don't really know why, because if you walk in a park and you pee on some plant there, no one seem to mind, but they do mind if you pee on the plants outside a shop. Mum told me the plants that were outside the shop were really plants for indoors, but I don't see why they put them outside if they are supposed to be inside!? Very confusing! Humans are so strange sometimes!

Getting treats on walks

If you have a mum - or a dad - like my mum, they probably go around with their pockets full of treats that they seem to give you when they feel like it, not when you want it. At least that's the way my mum does it, and she says I'd probably only be satisfied if she had one of those bird feeding things that I just could nudge to get a treat.

Anyway, if you have been walking for quite a while without getting a treat, no matter how well behaved you have been, there are ways of getting treats. There was a time when I tried the exhausted look. That was to make mum believe I suffered from a very low blood sugar level, and I thought she would pity me, give me some treats so that she wouldn't have to carry me all the way home. But then I thought that maybe mum would think I was a bit sickly, and then she wouldn't bring me for long walks at all, so then I thought of another way. I did go to some sort of school, some obedience thing, and I remembered that when we were there, we all went around in a circle, and sometimes we change direction, or stop and sit down. You were supposed to sit down quickly, on mum's left side, and if you immediately did very well, you got a treat. (Sometimes in those classes you had to walk zigzag between the other dogs without even looking at those dogs. I found that totally silly, because I believe you should say hello and show an interest in every dog you see, that's just being polite. But sometimes I did it the way the humans wanted, just to show them that I could, but also to get a treat.)

So, getting back to how you get treats on walks, what you can do is to suddenly sit down on your mum's left side, and sit just the way you were taught in school and give your mum demanding looks. If you're lucky, your mum will think that you suddenly got this urge to practice good behaviour.

If sitting down doesn't work, try walking just in front of your mum's feet, sit down, look cute and wiggle your tail. Make sure you don't move until you get a treat, but as soon as you get one, chew it fast and start walking again. If your mum just walks on without giving you a treat, annoy her by constantly running in front of her feet so she nearly stumbles, and to really make her understand, jump up on her to show her that you really want a treat! Do so until you finally get a treat, but remember you only get one treat, at the most two, and you can't keep it up a full walk. If you keep it up too long, your mum might threaten to leave you on your own in the park to look after yourself among all the pigeons and other birds. Now I'm sure I could survive on my own, and look after myself if I was left in the park, but mum is my idol, and I want to be with her all the time so I try not to annoy her too much.

I'm sure you can figure out on your own how to get doggy biscuits. If not I think I left some tips about that if you look under my interests where I tell you about my passion for biscuits.

Getting up to mum

Sometimes you might feel this need to cuddle, and times like that you want to get up to mum. But it's not always your mum is in a sofa or a bed or something else that is easy to jump up in. Sometimes mum sits on strange chairs that makes it impossible to jump up in, so when that happens, what to do? Well, just make your mum lift you up! Start by sitting down at her side, look at her with begging eyes and wiggle your tail a little. To wiggle your tail is nearly the most important thing there is, so don't forget that! If your mum is acting thick or tells you that you can't sit on her lap, like my mum tells me when she sits at her desk in the job, you have to use another method. Times like that, a good idea is to jump up and place your front paws on your mums leg, and carefully pet her on the leg or arm with one of your paws. My mum can hardly ever resist that, so she lifts me up, has to put one leg over the other to make room enough for me, and then she sits in a real uncomfortable way - for her - until I decide I can get down on the floor again.

Playtime

When you get a total desire to play, and your mum is sitting as if she is glued in front of the computer or the television - which really is the best spot for this - start as when you want to come up to your mum and sit on her lap. Once you're up, just throw yourself over your mum and start playing! It works nearly every time, and I think it's because humans also want to play, but very often they try to be very human-adult-serious. But I've found that mum just loves to play, and we have so much fun together! I do hope that you also have mums like that!

Another way to get some playing started is to sit down in front of your mum and bark, but you have to give her a certain look at the same time, so she sees it's some fun you are looking for. When she starts looking at you, go and get a toy and throw it in front of her. The funniest ways of all to start mum playing is to sneak up and attack her when she is totally absorbed in an exciting film on TV. It works best if you just seconds before are lying peacefully on the floor - or next to her - sleeping, or at least pretending to be sleeping. That always gives mum a huge surprise, and it's so much fun!

I've told you that mum has this weird habit of putting things in her hair, and I usually just go for them and then we're playing. I don't think mum has seen a full movie without interruptions since she got me, since I'm always throwing myself over her to get her to play with me. That might be one reason she very often tapes films on video, or rent them, because that way she can stop the film and rewind in case she feels she's missed something in it.

Eating food

I know you're supposed to eat on a regular basis, and eating food isn't really a trick, but I've found something out: Sometimes you can find things outside on walks that are possible to eat! Since we live in the city, I find stuff very often that are possible to eat, and I have to eat it very quickly or mum takes it away from me. Once when I was only a pup, I found a wrapping paper that used to hold a kebab, and I ate the paper the quickest I could. But, that wasn't very smart of me, because in a distance of about 30 meters I threw up 8 times. The reason was that it wasn't only wrapping paper I ate, inside the paper there were some green things that are really hot and are called chilli peppers or something, and also a very hot red sauce. At least that's what mum said when she saw what I was throwing up. Oh, and with hot, I don't mean as in warm...

Other times when I've found eatable stuff on our walks I have been more fortunate. At some places here in town, especially along the river, I very often find bread! Mum says that people put it there for the birds to eat, in particular for the ducks, but I think that the stupid birds could take a bit more care of the bread if it's for them. Actually, I think that nice people put bread out for us dogs, in case we get really hungry when we are out for walks. Another thing I sometimes find on our walks are French Fries and that is so yummy!

It also happens sometimes that I find bones, as in bones from meat, but mum always takes them away from me. She says I shouldn't eat them because you never know where they come from. She says that some bones can be very bad for me, they might get stuck inside me or cut me in the stomach, and some bones she says can be "I-don't-know-what-and-I-don't-want-to-know-bones". Since I don't want her to take the bones from me, she has to really dig in my mouth to get them out, and afterwards she always says: "How come you have to take all these disgusting things in your mouth which I have to take away from you? I don't like touching things that are totally disgusting!" That part makes me very confused, because if she finds some stuff so disgusting she doesn't want to touch them, why doesn't she let me keep them? Usually when mum takes something away from me, she just throws it to the side, and that is very good, because she always forgets about these things, but I don't, so the next walk I search for it again!

The normal doggy food you can eat all at once if you want. I used to do it that way when I was a little pup, and it was a bit annoying because then I always had to wait for my food. I only get that dry kind of doggy food, and as a pup I had to wait for it since mum put water over it to soak it a while before she gave it to me. I don't know why she did that, probably just one of those weird human ideas. I found it a long terrible wait every time my food time was due. Actually I went totally bananas every mealtime! I've got over that phase, and now when mum puts my dish down, I go over and sniff the food to see it's there and if it's the normal dry food, and since it always is, I leave it there for later. Mum has heard that if the dog doesn't eat its food when served, the dish should be taken away and not put down until next mealtime but mum figures I work like her, eat when I'm hungry. So she leaves my dish down, and I can go and eat when I please. I know there is a certain amount of food I should eat per day, and that mum measures the food she gives me, and that if I did like I'm supposed to I'd eat two meals per day. Sometimes I do that, but mostly I eat a few pieces now and again, sometimes mum can hear me crunching food at 3 am. It happens sometimes that I don't eat more than 2 meals in 3 or 4 days, but mum says as long as I'm healthy it doesn't bother her. The only thing that bothers me sometimes is that if I don't eat my food, I get less treats. Somehow mum has that worked out, that the treats she gives me during the day is part of how much I'm supposed to eat. If I go too long without touching my food, I don't get many treats at all, then mum tells me to eat my food instead.

How to hurry your mum up, or show her the way when you're on a lead

My mom is sometimes very slow, and maybe your mum is as well! Sometimes when we are leaving work, she puts my lead on, but she doesn't leave at once. It happens that she stops to chat a bit with our colleagues and I find that highly unnecessary. If she says we're going home, that means I get to go for a walk, and then it's very bad of mum to stop for a chat! What I do then is that I take the lead in my mouth and starts pulling towards the door. Mum says I shouldn't do that, but I do let go as soon as we're out of the building.

The same thing can be tried when you're out for a walk and your mum doesn't want to go the same way as you do. Take a hold of your lead, and try to pull your mum towards the direction you want to go! Unfortunately it usually doesn't work, but it's worth a try. Using the same technique you can also offer to take your doggy pal for a walk! I did that once with my friend Rusty. I was about 5 months old and I figured if I took him out for a walk, maybe he'd start liking me a bit more. Mum and I were visiting Rusty and his family, and his mum was taking him out for a walk and put the lead on him. Then she remembered she needed to bring something she had in the kitchen, so she left the lead on the floor, and when Rusty started to follow her into the kitchen, I grabbed hold of his lead and walked behind him. I thought I could show his mum that I could bring Rusty for a walk and she could stay inside and talk to my mum and drink tea or coffee or whatever humans do when they sit around a table. I did grab the lead where I've seen humans holding on to leads, and I let Rusty walk a few steps ahead of me, and I walked after him all the way into the kitchen and back out to the hall when he followed his mum out there. Actually Rusty's mum thanked me for volunteering taking Rusty out for a walk, but she said I might not know the way out there, and get us both lost, so she took Rusty out after all. She also said she didn't think Rusty would appreciate my help. Thinking back, I guess it was the right thing to do, because Rusty still doesn't really like me, even though I am a big boy now.

OK, that's all the tips I'll tell you, some things you just have to figure out yourselves! But who knows, maybe in the future I'll share some other tips with you!!

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Copyright Yvonne Eriksson 2001 - 2004